When Online Abuse Hurts — How to Protect Your Heart and Where to Turn
Being targeted by slander and abuse on social media hurts. Heartless words cut deeper than you'd imagine. Putting the protection of your own heart first, a gentle, non-assertive look at keeping distance, keeping records, and public places you can turn to for help.
By Katsuki Mitsumori
Heartless words hurled from the other side of a screen cut deeper than you'd imagine, even when they're anonymous. However often you're told to "just not mind it," it isn't something you can so easily brush off. When online abuse hurts, what we most want you to prioritize is protecting your own heart — before doing anything about the other person.
First, put distance between yourself and those words
You may find yourself rereading painful posts again and again. But the more often you look, the deeper those words are said to dig into the heart. First, mute or block the posts and accounts in question, turn off notifications, and move them out of your field of view.
This isn't running away — it's a legitimate boundary for protecting yourself. There's no need to force yourself to read and respond to everything. Just making time to step a little away from social media can quiet the heart considerably.
Keep records, and don't carry it alone
For malicious posts, painful as it is, it's said to be reassuring to keep records for the sake of later consultation or procedures. Save the posts in question as screenshots in a form that shows the date and time. The order is to secure evidence first, before requesting deletion or arguing back on the spot.
And never carry it alone. Just confiding in family or friends you trust changes the weight on your heart. Rather than snapping back in a public space, writing painful feelings out in a safe place that's just yours is thought to ease the burden. Filing your feelings away in a place no one else can see — as with Yurusen — is one way to protect the heart.
Public places you can turn to
For slander and human-rights violations online, many countries and regions have public help lines you can consult. In Japan, for example, the Ministry of Justice's human-rights counseling services are known, and you may be able to receive advice toward getting posts removed. In serious cases, consulting the police or a lawyer becomes an option too.
And if the distress lasts for weeks, or you can't sleep, or it disrupts daily life, alongside dealing with the posts, consult a professional such as a psychosomatic clinic or counselor for care of your heart. The pain you're feeling is by no means "overreacting." Please, above all, make protecting yourself with care your first priority.
Related themes are also touched on in the wraith codex.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Q.What should I do first if I'm targeted by abuse?
First, it's said to be important to put distance between yourself and those words. Mute or block the posts and accounts in question, and don't force yourself to reread them. At the same time, for the sake of later consultation, it's reassuring to keep records of malicious posts, such as screenshots. Don't carry it alone — reach out to people around you or to a help line early.
Q.Should I argue back or respond?
Snapping back on the spot can, it's said, tangle the situation further or invite more posts. When you want to let painful feelings out, talking to someone you trust or writing them out in a place that's just yours is thought to ease the burden on your heart more than hurling them at the other person in public.
Q.Where should I go for help?
Many countries and regions have public help lines for consulting about slander and human-rights violations online. In Japan, for example, the Ministry of Justice's human-rights counseling services are known. If the distress lasts, or you can't sleep, also consider consulting a professional such as a psychosomatic clinic or counselor.
About the author
Katsuki Mitsumori三森 捷暉
CEO, SURISUTA K.K. / Operator of Doya Marke AI
Runs Doya Marke AI, a suite of practical AI services spanning content, ads, sales and HR, and hosts the YouTube channel 'SaaS wa Shinimasshen.' Creator and developer of Yurusen, an app for filing the people you could never forgive into a private ledger of judgment.
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