How to Put a Murky Feeling into Words and Lighten It — Tips for Naming Emotions

A weight with no name settles deep in your chest. Whether you're angry or sad, you can't quite tell yourself, and only the murk goes on — a state like that slowly wears down both your thinking and your mood.

In this article, we introduce, from a calm self-help perspective, tips for naming a murky feeling to lighten it a little.

The true nature of the murk is an "emotion with no name"

The murk is distressing, it's said, precisely because you don't know what it is. Frustration, sadness, fear, regret — several emotions stay mixed together and remain in the chest as a single lump of weight.

In psychology, putting emotions into words is called "labeling," and it's been discussed as something that may ease the intensity of a feeling. Just by making the outline clear — "I'm angry because I was treated lightly" — the emotion becomes a little easier to handle.

Three steps to naming

The steps for putting it into words can be simple.

First, turn your attention to the bodily sensation. A heavy chest, a tight throat — feelings often show up in the body. Next, look for a word near that sensation. "Frustrated," "lonely," "scared" — a single word is enough. Last, write one line of what made you feel that way. "I was sad that a promise was broken." When cause and feeling connect, the murk takes on a firm outline.

Handholds for when you can't find the words

You don't have to try for a polished word. Pick from the nearest words for now. Even if it's off, realizing "that's not it" is itself a handhold for narrowing the outline.

For where to write, somewhere no one will see is recommended. The reason Yurusen adds the small step of "filing" someone into a private ledger is exactly this — so you don't just hurl the emotion out, but set it down, for now, as a record. For more on the effects of writing, see also The Psychology of Writing Out Anger.

When words don't clear it

Naming isn't magic that solves everything. If a state of not clearing even after writing continues for weeks, or you can't sleep, or it disrupts daily life, don't carry it alone — consider consulting a professional such as a psychosomatic clinic or counselor. Putting things into words is one tool for handling your own heart with care.