How to Do Expressive Writing: A Four-Day Method to Lighten the Heart

That one remark years ago, that parting, that failure. You locked it away deep in your chest without telling anyone, and in idle moments it resurfaces and unsettles you. You want to forget but can't, yet it doesn't feel big enough to confide — so you carry it, always. Most people hold one or two experiences like this.

Feelings you've locked away don't disappear; they quietly go on being a weight. For times like these, there is a known method: expressive writing. This article walks you, step by step, through the concrete way to write and lighten the heart, along with tips and cautions.

What expressive writing is — simply "writing your feelings"

Expressive writing means putting a painful event, and the feelings around it, onto the page as they are, without judging or editing. Known through the research of psychologist James Pennebaker, its hallmark is that you write for yourself, not for anyone else to see.

The difference from a diary is that you don't stop at recording events — you go into "what I actually felt." "It was maddening." "I was scared." "I really wanted an apology." Rather than trying to make it neat, you move what's flowing through your heart into words. Feelings that had been swirling vaguely gain an outline only once they become words, and grow a little easier to handle.

The method — 20 minutes a day, four days

The classic procedure is very simple.

• Write for about 20 minutes at a set time. Ten minutes is fine if you want it shorter.
• Keep it up for about four days. Dig into the same theme, or write from a different angle each day.
• Choose a quiet place free of interruptions. You don't have to reread what you wrote, and you can delete it later.

The theme is an experience that troubles you now — a painful past event, a lingering regret, a thing left unsaid. Write both what happened and what you felt then and feel now. The key is not to stop your pen for the 20 minutes. Ignore typos and incoherent sentences and keep writing.

Tips for writing

Don't try to write well. The goal isn't composition but getting the inside out. A string of words, or the same thing repeated, is fine.

Go into the feeling. Don't stop at "it was hard" — write "what, exactly, was hard about it." Putting the feeling itself into words tends to move things along more than explaining the event.

Step away when you finish. After 20 minutes, leave the topic and go about your day. You don't have to keep facing it.

What to be careful about

Feeling temporarily low right after writing is not unusual. It usually eases within the day or a few hours, but if the distress feels strong or lingers, don't force yourself to continue. You can switch to a theme you can still handle.

If low mood lasts a long time, or comes with not sleeping or losing your appetite, it's generally considered a sign to talk to a professional such as a doctor or mental health specialist without toughing it out. Expressive writing is everyday self-care, not a substitute for medical treatment.

Because no one sees it, you can be honest

Expressive writing shows its power when you can be honest precisely because you know no one will see it. The instant we sense an audience, we pick our words and cap our feelings. That way, what lies deep inside never comes out.

We built Noroi Nikki to be that place. A painful experience, swallowed anger — you can write it out in the form of a "curse," seen by no one. Just having a place to safely keep the raw words, before they're tidied, lets you set down what you've been carrying, little by little. Start with four days, 20 minutes each. You can begin today.

References

• James W. Pennebaker, Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (Guilford Press, 1997). A foundational body of research on the effects of writing out difficult experiences and emotions, known as expressive writing.