Don't Want to Go to Work in the Morning? Write the Heaviness Out and Take One Step

The alarm goes off. Before your eyes are even fully open, a heaviness — "I don't want to go" — is already pressed against your chest. Your body feels like lead; even reaching a hand out of the covers is too much, and time just passes as you stare at the ceiling. Five more minutes, five more minutes, you keep putting it off, caught between the urgency of having to go and the honest truth that you don't want to.

Telling yourself "not wanting to go is just being weak" won't lighten the feeling. If anything, the more you blame yourself for not wanting to go, the heavier the morning gets. This article is about not forcing that morning dread away, but settling the feeling and turning it into one step toward the door.

"I don't want to go" is a signal from mind and body

The first thing worth knowing is that the morning "I don't want to go" is by no means only a matter of weak willpower. It's said to be a signal that your mind and body sense a strain in your current situation.

Even when it seems to well up for no reason, something usually hides behind it. You're still dwelling on yesterday's mistake; there's someone you'd rather not face; your workload is near its limit; or you're simply not rested. "I don't want to go" is the result — the cause lies underneath.

That's exactly why dismissing the feeling out of hand as "weakness" backfires. Rather than swatting the signal away, listen to what it's trying to tell you. That's the starting point for living alongside the morning heaviness.

Write out "the reasons I don't want to go," right there in bed

Even on a morning your body won't move, there's something you can do with your phone or a note by your pillow: write out the reasons you don't want to go, just as they are.

A vague "I don't want to go" feels heavier than it is while its true form stays hidden. But once you write it out, you can see that heaviness split into several concrete pieces. "The 10 a.m. meeting is depressing." "I'm still dwelling on yesterday's mistake." "I'm just short on sleep and my body's heavy."

Split apart, you begin to see what can't be helped today, what actually isn't a big deal, and what you can let go of right now. What had been weighing on you all at the same heft gets sorted by writing — and breathing comes just a little easier.

Narrow it to the next "one small action"

What makes dreaded mornings so hard is imagining, all at once, the whole distant goal of "getting to work." The packed train, the start of the day, that person's face — before you've even risen, you shoulder a full day's burden first thing in the morning.

So it helps to look away from the goal and narrow to just the next small action. Not "go to work," but "first, sit up on the bed." Once you're up, "wash your face." Once that's done, "get dressed." One at a time, even a body heavy as lead can, surprisingly, start to move.

The big goal is fine to think about once you're already moving. For most people the dread is worst before setting off, and the feeling catches up a little once you begin. For now, just break that one step to the door into fine pieces.

Rather than enduring it, let it go often

The more conscientious you are, the more you try to go in while pinning the feeling down by force. But the more you pile on endurance, the more quietly the strain on mind and body accumulates. Rather than trying to erase the feeling of not wanting to go, writing it out often and letting it go the same day prevents the buildup.

For instance, after you get home or before bed, write a few lines of the "I can't take this" you swallowed that day. That alone changes the heaviness you carry into the next morning. Feelings stay steadier when you release them in small, frequent doses than when you bottle them up until they explode. On especially hard days, resting is an important way to protect yourself, too.

Don't push through if the dread lingers

The morning "I don't want to go" is something many people feel, but it deserves attention when it lingers. If you truly can't get up, or low mood or sleeplessness lasts more than two weeks, or you find yourself in tears or unable to enjoy anything, it may be more than passing dread.

At times like that, rather than forcing yourself to keep going in, make protecting yourself your first priority. It's perfectly fine to consider leaning on a professional — an occupational physician, a mental health clinic, or an internal or external support line.

Entrust the morning heaviness to somewhere no one can see

The heaviness of a dreaded morning presses down harder the more you try to will it away with "I have to go." Rather than trying to erase it, it's far easier to write the feeling down as it is and entrust it outside your head.

Noroi Nikki is an app for those mornings. There's no need to pull yourself together into positivity. We built it as a place where you can let out the "I don't want to go," the "I can't do this," exactly as they are. What you write is seen by no one and stays only within you. Once you write the heaviness in your bed out and get it outside you, that one step to the door becomes just a little lighter. Start with that one step.

References

• Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162–166. (A landmark study showing that expressive writing — putting emotions and experiences into words — is linked to reduced mental and physical stress.)