Can't Relax on Your Days Off? Write Out What's in Your Head to Rest Your Brain

The day off you'd been waiting for. You should be lounging on the sofa taking it easy, yet in a corner of your mind the work you didn't finish on Friday keeps flickering. You watch TV and nothing sinks in; before you know it, you're planning out Monday's meeting. Your body is resting, but your heart is still left back at the workplace — and by evening you sigh, "I don't feel rested today either." Have you been spending days off like that?

Being tired even though you rested may be because it isn't your body but your head that hasn't rested. This article covers why stress lingers even on days off, and concrete ways to write out what's circling in your head so your brain can actually rest.

"Resting the body" and "resting the mind" are different

Even lying on the sofa all day, if work and worries keep circling in your head, your brain isn't resting, it is said. Even if you think you're doing nothing, thinking about Monday's schedule or unconsciously chasing information on your phone keeps your head working nonstop. Resting the body and resting the mind are separate tasks.

In particular, turning over unanswerable worries in your head tends to drain the brain. "Will that thing be ready by Monday?" "Was that comment a mistake?" — days off are exactly when such thoughts drift back. What daytime busyness kept at bay surges up all at once in the quiet.

What matters is that this isn't laziness or slacking off. Your head simply hasn't rested — your fatigue is real. That's why, beyond lying your body down, it takes some effort to stop what's in your head.

Write what's in your head "out and away"

Your head won't rest because your brain keeps holding onto things you mustn't forget and things you're worried about. That's where it helps to write out what's in your head, once, as it is.

1. Write out every worry

Write out all the work and worries that surface on your day off, without minding order. "Reply first thing Monday," "that document is nagging me," "I need to call my parents" — they keep surfacing precisely because they're left sitting in your head, so once you write them and set them in a place you can look at later, you no longer have to keep holding them.

2. Make a "to-do list" for after the break

If work in particular won't leave your head, listing what to do after the break helps. The tension of "I have to remember this" can be set down for now by moving it onto a list. It's also useful for those who tend to dread Sunday nights.

3. Once you've written it, close it and return to your rest

If you re-read what you wrote and start firming up the plan, your head starts working again. Today, only go as far as writing it and setting it outside. After that, close it and return to your time off.

Deliberately make "time that doesn't use your head"

To rest your head, beyond writing things out and letting them go, it also helps to deliberately make time that steers your attention away from your thoughts. Generally, light movement, walking somewhere with nature, or absorbing yourself in a task that doesn't tax your head — cooking, a craft — is said to help you step away from circling thoughts.

A surprising trap is long hours on your phone on a day off. Even when you think you're resting, a stream of information keeps flowing in and your brain isn't resting. Having "time to just be idle" without guilt is real rest, too. Try deliberately putting time to do nothing into your schedule.

When rest doesn't bring recovery

The methods here are everyday self-care. When low mood or strong fatigue lasts around two weeks even after ample rest, or a state of not sleeping and not enjoying anything won't lift — at such times it may be more than plain tiredness, and it's generally considered a sign to talk to a professional such as a doctor without toughing it out. A state that doesn't recover even with rest may be an important signal from the body. Before piling on more strain, borrow a professional's help early.

Venting as a "curse" is allowed, too

Behind the work worries that resurface on your day off, there can be unspoken frustration or anger. "Why is it always me," "I can't forgive the way that person said it" — trying to reframe them into something positive only makes them lodge in your head longer.

Noroi Nikki is an app for those feelings. We built it as a place where you can let out the negative feelings occupying your head as "curses," exactly as they are — no need to dress them up. What you write is seen by no one and stays only within you. When your head won't rest on a day off, start by writing that worry down, as it is, and setting it outside you.

References

• James W. Pennebaker, Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (Guilford Press, 1997). A foundational body of research on the effects of writing out worries and emotions, known as expressive writing.